Hi, my international fellas!
If you’re in your 30s, already raising kids, and still considering a Ph.D., don’t hold back! I know so many people—both from my department and my home country—who have taken their whole family with them while pursuing a Ph.D. in the U.S. And when I say whole, I mean more than just one child. I even have a friend who moved with four kids!
The key to making it work? Planning ahead and embracing the present. It’s definitely possible, but it requires smart preparation. If you’re considering taking your family along for the journey, here’s what you should plan for before your move.
PS: The information provided in this page is specifically for you who consider moving to the U.S. for study. Requirements differ in other countries, but they mostly cover similar aspects like what I write in the following.
1. Get Your Paperwork in Order
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- Passports: It goes without saying, but who knows you might miss it.
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- School Documents for Kids: If your children are transferring to a U.S. school, make sure you have their transcripts, immunization records, and other required documents translated into English.
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- Work Authorization for Spouses: If your spouse plans to work in the U.S., understand the visa restrictions. J-2 visa holders can apply for work authorization, while F-2 visa holders cannot work but can study part-time. Click here for more information.
2. Research Your Future Home
Safety First
Before choosing a city, research its safety rankings and crime rates. Websites like U.S. News provide lists of the safest places to live. I find this page is pretty updated, you may have a look. What if the state of your dream uni is not among the first 10? I’d suggest you dive deeper into the town where your campus is located. From my experience, college towns are safe and have low crime rates. Every campus also ensures everyone’s security and safety. I hope the list does not discourage you.
Healthcare is Expensive—Plan Ahead
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- Health insurance in the U.S. is costly, so explore options through your university.
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- Some schools offer affordable health insurance for students and their families.
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- Look into public health services in your area.
Job Opportunities for Spouses
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- Your J2 dependent can work on and off campus. Unfortunately, they cannot begin to work unless they receive an Employment Authorization Document (EAD), which is issued by the US. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) and usually takes more than three months. Please refer to your campus for more information.
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- While waiting, you could research on-campus and off-campus job opportunities. Your first semester in the U.S. with your family will be a challenging period, as it will demand a lot of your mental energy, time, effort, and finances. Stay strong!
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- Some universities offer career services for spouses of international students, make sure to check it out.
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- If your spouse wants to study, check if your university offers special programs for dependents.
School & Daycare for Kids
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- Public school enrollment depends on your residential area—check local school district ratings. If you need some information before going to the States, they’re just an email away!
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- If your kids are transferring grades, confirm required translated documents for admission before packing up. You do not want to miss anything. Really.
Public Transportation & Daily Life
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- Transportation: Research public transit options before getting a car. Some cities have great bus/train systems, while others require a car.
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- Community & Public Facilities: Look for local parks, libraries, grocery stores, and cultural organizations that can help your family settle in comfortably. As a Muslim woman, I felt that it was challenging at first to find grocery stores and restaurants with halal food and public prayer area, but over time, I found them. Overcoming such challenge has become one my the greatest lessons for me because it forces me to learn more about my religion in a way I never thought I would. The key is to be positive!
3. Plan Your Finances
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- Budget wisely:
- Your settlement expenses. Depending on what type of apartment you will choose, you need to know how much you would need for filling up your new apartment rooms and kitchen. #Tips 1: I found it very helpful to join WhatsApp groups for buying/selling used stuff. Many people are moving out and selling their stuff for very affordable price. Often times they also would love to give them away things in very good condition. #Tips 2: Visit thrift stores like Good Will. They sell almost everything like silverwares, kitchen appliances, furniture, and many more in low prices.
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- Other more regular expenses should also be planned ahead. Tuition, rent, food, healthcare, and childcare add up fast. If you already know your budget, it’d be really helpful to have all these expenses planned earlier.
- Budget wisely:
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- Look for funding: Many Ph.D. students get funding through assistantships, scholarships, or research grants. Most of the students in my program join assistantships. They teach two classes every semester or help in a faculty research project. In addition to receive tuition waiver, they also receive salary and have their health insurance covered.
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- Emergency savings: Having backup savings can ease the stress of unexpected costs.
4. Build a Support System
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- University Resources: Many universities offer family support groups, student associations, and networking events for international students with families.
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- Find Your Community: Join local Facebook or WhatsApp groups, communities from your home country, or religious/cultural groups to build your network.
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- Connect with Other Ph.D. Parents: You’re not alone! Seek out others who are managing family life alongside their Ph.D.
5. Embrace the Journey
Moving your family abroad for a Ph.D. is a huge transition, but it’s also an incredible opportunity for growth and new experiences.
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- Be flexible and open-minded: things may not always go as planned. However, planning is always helpful but loosen up a bit is also great for your sanity!
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- Enjoy the process: explore your new home, immerse yourself in the culture, and make memories with your family. No one would say it would always be easy, but with your family around you, you will always make it memorable.
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- Trust that you CAN do this: many before you have, and so can you! You need to trust yourself and be open to new possibilities.
So…
If pursuing a Ph.D. with a family is your dream, don’t let fear hold you back. With the right preparation and mindset, it’s absolutely possible to balance academic life and family life successfully.
And if you have other considerations, I encourage you to write them in the comment section. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences! 😊